Save me from doubts! (Le doute)

Save me from doubts !

It creeps into your mind and brings questions, reasonings, and worries. Whether you are a child of Elohim (God) or not, you have surely dealt with it at some point in your life. You guessed it: we are talking about doubt.

Who can say that he has never doubted anything in his life? No one!

It’s one thing to doubt once in a while but to live with doubt on a regular basis is something completely different. Companion in misfortune, it lives by your side day after day and never leaves you. Yet you know how hard it is to be someone who doubts while being in the Lord. Indeed, you constantly question everything “Is it really the Lord asking me to do this thing? Is it really Elohim (God) who answered my prayer? Does this thought come from myself, from my flesh, from Satan or from Elohim (God)? “. Endless questions that tire you and slow you down in your relationship with the Lord Yehoshua (Jesus).

How I doubt in my everyday life

I would never have suspected that I was a person in doubt, and yet it is. For the little things of everyday life, for the trivialities of this world, I hesitate, think, question and put things in the back of my head, come back to them and sometimes never make a decision. And yet, paradoxically, I don’t like indecisive people who take a long time to make decisions, which are or appear to me as obvious. Thus, I keep and feed doubts, questionings and reasonings in my heart. For example, when I walk into a store, I have already spotted the items I like while browsing the internet. At first glance, I should know what I am going to buy. And yet no, I just wander around looking, inspecting the item I spotted earlier from all angles, wondering if I’ll ever use it, if I really need it or if it’s just a passing desire. Tired of those unanswered questions, I leave the store with the item in my hand, annoyed with myself.

But the battle is not over yet, it would be too easy. Once home, I look at the item, try it, let it, try it again later, and then bring it back to the store for my refund. 

Another example, another context, during my freshman year of college, I met a girl who became a very good friend of mine. Soon after, while listening to her personal issues, I felt in my heart that I had to tell her about Yehoshua (Jesus)…I knew the Lord was the solution to her problems. It would have been easy to evangelize and to simply talk about Mashiach (Christ). And yet, I took me three long years to dare to speak to her about this magnificent, good, exceptional and unique being that is Elohim (God).

Whenever the Lord allowed a good situation for me to tell her about him, I was overcome with doubt “Should I really tell her about Yehoshua (Jesus) right now? She knows that I’m a Christian, so why doesn’t she ask? What will she think about me? Is it really you Lord who wants me to talk to her?”

Honestly, who else would want us to talk to unbelievers except for Yehoshua and Yehoshua only? Certainly not my flesh or Satan.

After three years of missed opportunities, another opportunity has appeared. This sad, broken and crying young lady in front of me was talking to me with an opened heart. At this very moment, I could feel this thought coming, this incessant thought that used to fill me with doubts. But from now on, I decided to give up and to trust Yehoshua (Jesus) and his Spirit to lead me. Only he knows the depths of hearts. Only he can examine the mind and knows the needs of souls. So, I spoke and streams of words that I couldn’t control came out of my mouth without realizing what I was talking about meanwhile I was watching her face changing. She was standing in front of me, listening to my every word, not asking any question. And here I was, asking her if she wanted me to pray for her, prayer that she gladly accepted. Then, in an empty classroom, I hugged her and prayed, prayed for that girl the Lord wanted to talk to.

As I felt her tears roll down my hands, I realized that I never imagined having such a time in college. Needless to say, at this moment I heard this little voice in my mind asking me what I was doing here, praying out loud for this girl, risking getting caught by someone at any time. In the end, she confessed feeling a lot better. I felt such a peace and joy in my heart that I couldn’t hear this little vicious voice that was talking to me. I prayed for this girl in the same evening, asking the Lord to forgive my disobedience and incredulity.

Does faith get along with doubts?

Let me answer with another question: What is faith? The word of Elohim (God) says that:” Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrew 11:1

To have faith in Yehoshua (Jesus) is to put our hope in an Elohim (God) that we can’t see with our physical eyes but trough the situations of our daily life and even trough nature. And yet, the doubt can interfere in our relationship with the Lord.

“And straightway Yehoshua (Jesus) constrained his disciples to get into a ship, and to go before him unto the other side, while he sent the multitudes away. And when he had sent multitudes away, he went up into a mountain apart to pray: and when the evening was come, he was there alone. But the ship was now in the midst of the sea, tossed with waves: for the wind was contrary. And in the fourth watch of the night Yehoshua (Jesus) went unto them, walking on the sea. And when the disciples saw him on the sea, they were troubled, saying, it is a spirit; and they cried out for fear. But straightway Yehoshua (Jesus) spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid. And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water. And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Yehoshua (Jesus). But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me. And immediately Yehoshua (Jesus) stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?” Matthew 12:24

This passage is a very good example of when we might doubt. Indeed, even he saw the Lord coming to them, walking on water ensuring that it was him coming, Petros (Peter) asked him to let him walk on water to as for a proof. And even if Elohim (God) allowed him to, Petros (Peter) still doubted.

It would be easy to say “Oh come on Peter! Did you experience tons of miracles alongside Yehoshua and yet still doubt him? Give me a break, will you?” But what about you? Who doubt over and over again about things the Lord asked you to do many weeks, months or even years ago? Yet, you can easily testify about the wonderful things the Lord has done in your life: He lifted you out of your sins, freed you from the filth of your heart, changed and continues to change your complicated character. The list of its benefits in your life is long, and yet you doubt, doubt what the Lord is asks of you and shares with you in secret. In his mercy, he confirms with his Word, through dreams, through brothers and sisters and also through things only you know, things he has put in your heart. But here you are, you live a life of doubts and questions. It prevents you to fully living your faith and deep down you want to be delivered. I know it because I have been there.

I decided to take a stand, to stop living in this endless cycle. This slippery slope leads to deep questionings that can even cost your salvation. And yet, you want to do so well, to be exactly where he wants you to be, to face your doubts and fears to obey when he asks you to do something. In obedience, you might feel terrified, anxious, stressed because you have no control over anything, you are his instrument and only he has control over everything. Of course, this will lead you out of your comfort zone, without any self-made safety net and required to fully trust the Lord.

It is not easy to put yourself in the hands of Elohim (God) everyday, it is a daily struggle. Obviously, doubts fight your faith and is a great opportunity that Satan uses against you. Be encouraged and rise, refuse to live like this.

There are so many things to say, but I will finish with this prayer:

Lord, help us to trust you every day. We want to do your will and put you at the first place in our heart and in our heart despite any doubts, fear and reasonings. Deliver us from this scourge and strengthen our faith so doubts can’t take place in us.   

Amen!